On Fridays which have been long and tiring, when I look longingly at the weekend and realise that even Saturday is going to be a long working day, the mind does start wondering about the futility of it all. And lo and behold I am staring at an existential crisis !!!
Why am I here ? Why only me ? What is the use of this all ?
Crazy thoughts bounce like chinese ping pong through the brain. The heart wears a smug expression " I told you so! " the mind snatches at thin air to come up with a solid answer to " why all this crazy hardwork?"
Then I pause. Go through some chats, see some pics and breathe. Deeply.
I may not be able to justify the craziness , the hardwork, the running around..., But if I wasn't here, I would not have all those people who love me, with me.
Am I prepared to daydream away my kids, my family, my best friend ? And dream of myself relaxing in some alternate reality ?
It may seem attractive for a few seconds, but I don't wish to exist any other way. I may wish that life was easier , different, but if it was, ....I would be incomplete.
Crisis managed for today I think :)
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